The late evening is not generally my time to shine. I’ve always been more a creature of the early morning predawn. I prefer strong coffee and black, much like the Norwegian farm women I knew when I lived in the Red River Valley along the Minnesota – North Dakota line.
By this time of night I have a hard time reading; my eyes refuse to focus. And if I read in bed, reading is a sure cure for insomnia.
Tonight is different. It’s quiet here at the dining room table and I reflect on this day. This has been a day with more challenges than I would have wished, a day with more hope than I deserve, a day brimming with failures and successes. This has been a day when I’ve not said things I should have and said things I should have not. I have been disappointed and yet affirmed by my fellow travelers…in short, a very mixed bag.
I’m reflecting on how much different my life could’ve turned out, both good and bad, but I know this day has been a day of grace. I remember what people said to me today about themselves. They shared their struggles, occasionally their fears, frequently their successes and I learned. I learned that while I’m not the center of the universe, I am a woman of immense value to the divine purpose. I learned that whatever I experience of love and grace around me flows today from one wellspring. I learned that I am important to other people. I learned that even though I have put aside childish things, I have become a child again.
I like the nocturne. I can do now what I cannot seem to do any other time of day. I can be grateful for gifts I have not understood.