Give Up the Past

(my take on the 13th part of 15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy)

What people know me well often forget (myself included) is that I am basically an historian.  I have an undergraduate major in European history. I casually read academic church history which would bore most people to tears. I enjoy history documentaries. The most fun movie I have seen this summer has been Abraham Lincoln, the Vampire Hunter. I am a big fan of Renaissance fairs. I think that qualifies me as a history geek, yes?
I could easily live in the past. I sometimes think I was born in the wrong century. But I don’t live then. I live right here, right now. I can take a vacation from 21st-century obligations, but sooner or later, I have to come back. What happens if I don’t?

What happens when I lose anything resembling an objective look at my own past, when I either insist that my past was a lot more perfect or a lot more worse than it really was? I get stuck. My life doesn’t move ahead. I can’t solve today’s problems. I’m not here for the people who love me and count on me in this moment. I’m not human.

My life is not a history book. I dare not dwell in my past. My past belongs to the person I was then, not the person that I am now. There is no going back and I don’t want to. Nothing there I can change, no chances to do over, no truth I can rewrite. What I have is now, give or take 5 min. I live here, like it or not, and so do you. Let’s acknowledge that and live.

Love, Denise


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