I have no idea how many trans people operate in stealth mode especially after transitioning, but many do. I imagine that it’s an attempt to live as normative quiet a life as possible, but I don’t know that. And it’s not for me to say as to the merits of that approach to life. There is no doubt, in ways more or less, that all gender variant people struggle against the root of discrimination. So why should I be so open and public about my life as a trans-woman?
I have no desire for notoriety. Living as another middle-aged woman in her own quiet way would certainly make for a lot more serenity. And I think I could do that. Given time, most of my world would move on to other things and I would be just that quirky woman who lives by herself and reads lots of books.
But fair warning – I do have an agenda. Get that, all you paranoid ultra-conservatives, everybody who panics at the hint of a “gay agenda”?
Here it comes! My agenda is for more and more people to know me as I am, to know my quirks, my strengths and my annoying failings. And the more you get to know ME, the more often you’ll pause when you hear vicious, hate-filled speech about trans people. When somebody is filling your ear about how transgender people are really just men in dresses with the sole purpose of infiltrating women’s rest rooms with nefarious assault in mind, the more apt you are to stop and say – “wait a minute, I know Denise and she doesn’t sound much like a rapist to me.” The more apt you are to realize that it’s not fair OR safe for me to be in a male restroom, no more than any other woman and that my only motivation for being there in the first place is the same as yours. In, do my thing and out. Simple as that.
That’s my agenda. You can say to anybody that you know a trans-woman who most of the time basically has her head screwed on straight. You can say you have been my co-worker and that I held up my end of the load. You can say that I never assaulted anybody that you ever heard of. You can say that at least some of the time I seem like a sober and sane woman who is fun to be around.
All I want you to do is pause for a moment. Stop and think. For that, I’ll be way out front.