Sometimes You DO Get to Choose

Despite a lot of bluster from certain quarters, I don’t get to choose who I am.  I’m not a big Lady Gaga fan, but I am indeed born this way.  No amount of wishful thinking (don’t think for a moment that I have never wished for life to be a LOT different) will make any difference.  End of that subject.

On the other hand I do get to make choices about things I can control.  Some choices I’ve made this week:

1. I chose to stand publicly in worship, supported by friends, to reclaim my baptism and be satisfied that I am known and loved by God just as I am.  I chose to do that.

2. I chose to get a grip on my emotions and not widen any gaps between me and the rest of my family.  I chose to do that.

3. Every hour, every day I chose not to drink,  no matter how crazy the urge got.  By golly, I really chose to do that.

I chose every one of these things and most likely more that I can’t recall.  Life is too full to worry about the things I cannot choose.  Serenity and grace helps me not to get stuck there.  Wisdom outside myself helps me to know the difference.  Living authentically gives me the courage to make those choices and so many others. And that is how I do it.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. patrickfitzmichael
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 00:02:07

    Deni, I feel for you. If I believed in God, I would say that (s)he loves you just the way you are. Meaning as a transwoman. In other words, (s)he created you as a man, but you didn’t like that so you decided to be a woman. And (s)he loves you just the way you are.

    Did you hear about what happened to that transwoman in Philadelphia? They sent her to a men’s prison after they discovered that she had a penis! Oh yeah, and some of the other women were complaining that she was touching them. They should quit complaining. She’s just being herself.

    http://twogaybullies.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/she-male-in-a-womens-jail-is-actually-a-prisoner-in-hisher-own-body/

    Reply

    • Deni
      Nov 23, 2011 @ 14:38:31

      As dangerous as prison life is, how much more dangerous is it for gender non-conforming people. IMHO incarcerating a MtF person in a male population is “cruel and inhuman punishment” and only displays how far bigotry can descend.

      Reply

  2. kimberube
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 15:46:56

    Deni, I loved the clarity and simplicity of this post! What a natural writer you are. I love how you get to the point and how it is absolutely understandable. Best wishes through your continued recovery. Peace, Kim

    Reply

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