Transgender and Crossdressing: One Way to See the Difference

I wear women’s clothing, but I don’t crossdress.  Oh, really?  Yes, really, and here is how I figure that.

Not one thing wrong with crossdressing.  It’s just not the same as being transgender.  Crossdressing can be a fetish, i.e., where everything revolves around the object itself. It might include underdressing (wearing a soft cup bra and/or panties under male clothing) just for the sake of the object itself, maybe because of a satiny texture.  It can be out of breaking taboos, excitement at the thought of doing something society won’t approve of.  It can be frankly sexual.  As a transgender person, I favor skirts actually, but I’m pretty clear it’s not about any of the above reasons.

All that I understand myself to be, what I yearn to be the most, is an average middle-aged woman.  And whatever I can do on the outside (including hair and makeup) that brings my appearance to start to match my identity makes me feel more whole.  Most of the women I know, including trans-women, don’t wear dresses/skirts very much if at all.  I do because it helps in a little way to make my identity world a little less fragmented.  I wear earrings and have a ponytail for the same reason.

In the times I’m constrained to wear male clothes, then I feel like I’m crossdressing (unwillingly).  Confused?  I’ve struggled for a long time just to get this close to understanding it.

Deni

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